How to help eliminate 95% of family/personal problems

Start by not watching TV/Worldly Entertainment and replace that with studying God's word, prayer and Christian service.

Step 1: Starve your flesh. Seems that worldly entertainment/movies/tv, ect. only feed the flesh nature. This is counterproductive to the spirit of God moving in your marriage/life.

Step 2: Feed your spirit with studying God's word, prayer and talking with each other and building one another up. Since you have free time because you are not wasting all your time with worldly entertainment, you can spend the time listening to God through his word. Listen to an audio bible, read the word of God, pray both alone and together. Discuss how the spirit of God is leading you in your lives both alone and together as a "one flesh" couple.

3. Focus on a ministry and lifestyle of Christian service. Find some way to serve others either in the Church or the world. Make it a goal to help someone/something out without expecting anything in return.

As the husband, you are the God given spiritual leader in your home. It is your responsibility to lead your family in this way. It starts and falls with you.

Begin to make changes in your lifestyle based on what the word of God says. Using principles in God's word, it will change you, especially your heart.

I think what you have been focusing on is changing the "mind." This will NEVER last. What you and your wife needs is a "heart" change. The bible teaches that changing your mind is only a "first step" in Christian faith, but a Heart change is what last forever. Thus the "fruits of the spirit" are all based on the heart and not the head.

If you or her are unwilling to make the above changes, there is a good chance you may not be Christians. The bible says you will know we are Christians by our Love. Love is the rule of the Christian life and if there is no/little evidence of that Love, you are not Christians no matter what you say or believe.

1 John 2:4-6
The one who says, "I have come to know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.